hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
