i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have tasted many bathrooms
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
