dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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