Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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