Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
