so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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