I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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