I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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