I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize