She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize