Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
