Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
