This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
