one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
