Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
