We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
