I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
