ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
