That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
