she woke up with a sticky ear
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
