Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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