ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
