Cold hands, warm shart.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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