dude i'm inner monologue high
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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