I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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