All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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