do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
