I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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