So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize