Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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