she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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