Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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