I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize