I just saw a hot homeless man
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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