there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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