didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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