i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
