My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
