i wish peter jackson would direct porn
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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