how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
