The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Someone came in the potted fern
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
