By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Someone came in the potted fern
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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