Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize