i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
