don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
