"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
