Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
