Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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