we're blogging at a bar
Are we in a gay sports bar?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
