i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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